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			Common Stages in the Grief Process source: CONCERNED associates   While each of us experiences death or loss in a very personal way, there are often common reactions and stages in the grief process. These stages don't necessarily progress in the order in which we've listed them - usually it is a dynamic process. Those who suffer loss can go back and forth from one stage to another. The grief process also doesn't have a particular duration. It's commonly accepted that most people who suffer losses will experience a cycle of at least one year as they face holidays, birthdays and seasonal routines without their loved one. Denial and disbelief Those who suffer a loss, a death or the prospect of an impending death often experience shock, disbelief and sometimes outright denial. Feelings of unreality are common. Sometimes the griever can intellectually accept the fact that a loss has occurred, but still be in emotional denial about the loss and the effects it has had or will have on their life. In the early stage of loss, there may be strong physical reactions - particularly when the loss is sudden. People learning of a loss may suffer pain, nausea, dizziness, numbness or a variety of other physical manifestations of grief. Anger Anger is a very common reaction to loss. The anger might take the form of blaming a doctor, a boss, a friend or God. It might be specific to individuals or generalized at the unfairness of the situation. It may even be directed at the departed. It's quite common for people to feel intense anger at having been left or abandoned. Depression and guilt Depression is often described as anger that we internalize. Depression after a loss feels like a paralysis, or like one is living in a thick cloud or fog. The grieving party can very often isolate or withdraw from life. Frequently, the depression is accompanied by feelings of guilt. The guilt may occur because the person feels there was an action they might have taken that would have prevented the loss, or guilt because there was some unfinished business, some things unsaid or undone. Sometimes there is even guilt at feeling anger and depression, particularly if the anger resulted in the person behaving in a way they regret. Adjustment This phase often begins in a very mechanized way as the griever attempts to pick up the pieces of their life again. Frequently, this is little more than "going through the motions" in the early days, but re-establishing a routine is important work in healing no matter how artificial it may seem. Later, things may seem hopelessly chaotic and disorganized as the person copes with life after loss. The person begins the important work of coping with new tasks, re-establishing priorities and dealing with life shifts. At this stage, it is not uncommon to vacillate between hopefulness and depression and anger. Acceptance and integration The grieving person has largely shifted from a focus on the past to a forward-looking, life affirming focus and belief that they will make it through. They have accepted the reality of their loss and the effect on their life. While not forgetting the person they have lost, they have achieved sufficient detachment to move forward with their lives. Often, they find a positive way to deal with or channel their previous feelings of anger or depression. They reconnect with their lives, pick up the threads, and focus largely on the positive. Read more on this topic: Coping With Grief and Loss An article from AARP that discusses common physical and emotional reactions to loss. Coping With Loss: Bereavement & Grief A fact sheet from the National Mental Health Association. A Child's Grief An excellent guide from the University of Utah Health Sciences Center that discusses common reactions in children experiencing death, and the differences in perception, understanding and response broken down by age groups.